officialunitedstates:

remember that time I joked that I knew english, australian, canadian, and irish and a bunch of irish people started sending me scary sounding archaic half-english words and thats how I found out irish was actually a language

lordofthewincest:

skeletons have become a meme and that means there is a meme inside you, with you at all times.

guiseofgentlewords:

my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

tadpole-in-a-tuxedo:

DEAR SWEET GOD

I WAS TRYING TO EDIT THIS GIF:

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AND THIS MONSTROSITY HAPPENED

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GOD ON HIGH HEAR MY PRAYER

k-hiq:

hikaribakuras:

holyjazspers:

horton hears a huh

horton hears a what

horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady

HORTON HEARS NOTHING HORTON IS AS DEAD AS THIS JOKE

horton hears a hater

sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

sulidaesy:

Please watch this 3 second clip from an actual George Washington documentary.

muscleluvr2:

oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents

awkwardrabbit:

How am I going to tell them I lost my job.
I have a wife, and 3 children
3 Children. 

omgtsn:

highnoonhex:

mistahgrundy:

kat-reverie:

omgtsn:

a masterpost

fUVK HSDGUJWKEG i love this

SPOOPY BUS

This is actually pissing me off. It has begun to ruin halloween for me knowing people don’t spell check. Things are massed produced in factories and sent out for sale to the public spelt spoopy, doo, and creppy. Like what the actual fuck. My computer even automatically changes spoopy to spooky. I mean, come on. The best holiday season and businesses don’t even care enough about it to spell check the items they’re gonna sell. Fuck this shit.

come on buddy wheres your smngfiehp cheer

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(Source: omgtsn)